Why did Joseph have to divorce Mary if they weren’t married yet? It helps to know the ancient culture when trying to interpret stories like the birth of Jesus. Marriages in Jesus’ time had three phases: Initiation (paying the bride price), Preparation (preparing the home for a family), and Consummation (the wedding feast- usually a week long affair).

The wedding began with a covenant between couple and their families. The bride price provided money for the father in his loss of a daughter. If the bride’s husband died, the money reverted to the widow. Once the bride price was paid, the marriage began though it would not be consummated for six months to a year. The groom was not to see the bride until the bridal feast (King and Stager, Life in Ancient Israel). The only way the covenant between them could be dissolved was a certificate of divorce.

It is during the middle period between bride price and wedding supper that Mary was “found to be with child of the Holy Spirit.” Joseph learned of her condition by rumor. It seems Joseph learned the true nature of Mary’s condition from the angel.

In Joseph’s mind there were only two options. Of course, he could have married her anyway, but the desire for righteousness and obedience to the law precluded this. The two options were 1. Public trial for breaking the covenant, but it would put Mary to public disgrace. The divorce document most likely recorded a formula of repudiation, “She is not my wife and I am not her husband.” As a sign of the removal of the promise to protect and provide, her outer garment would be removed. (Archaeological Study Bible, Zondervan)

Joseph’s other option would be to divorce her quietly with just the couple and their family representatives in attendance. Emotionally, I suspect, Joseph had a great deal to wrestle with: He knew Mary was a righteous woman, it was what attracted her to him. To hear the rumor that she was with child upended everything he thought he knew. He had a duty to righteousness and felt the strong pull toward compassion. The words of the angel, then, were both reassuring with regard to Mary and unsettling. How would the people around him respond? What would they think?

Joseph’s faith produced obedience. He followed the angel’s direction, married his pregnant bride, and did not sleep with her until after Jesus was born. What can we learn about faith from the predicament of Joseph?

1. The answer to our circumstances may not be immediately evident. We will wrestle and wait until God makes things clear.
2. When our way forward is clear, may God give us the kind of faith that responds with instantaneous obedience.